Wall of Rejection

By: Kiana & Andrew Joyner

In our work together with couples, we’ve found that the "breaking point" rarely happens overnight. While January 2nd is famous for being the day divorce filings spike, that date is really just the finish line for a year's worth of "misses." These are those tiny, quiet moments where you reached out for connection—a look, a comment, a bid for attention—and your partner, for whatever reason, wasn't there.

Individually, a "miss" feels small. But when they go unspoken, each instance acts like a single brick. Throughout the year, and especially under the pressure of the holidays, those bricks stack up until they create a wall of rejection. By the time January hits, many couples realize the stress wasn't created by the New Year; it was simply exposed by it. You start to feel like you’re on different teams, and that wall can feel impossible to climb.

The good news is that the "ouch" only turns into a brick if it’s kept in the dark. Most of the hurt we see isn't intentional—it’s just a breakdown in communication. You can start deconstructing the wall by naming the miss in real-time. It sounds like: "Hey, when I tried to tell you about my day and you didn't look up, I felt a little lonely. Can we try that again?" This isn't about starting a fight; it's about being brave enough to build a bridge before the next brick is laid.

If the holidays have left you feeling more like roommates than partners, professional help can be the tool you need to start deconstructing that wall. If you’re ready to TAKE THE STEP and start building those bridges together, we’d love to help. Reach out to us for a consultation at www.souljourneyproject.com.